Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
