? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
