Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
