I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You smell like stripper and shame
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
