If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
