i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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