Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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