WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
