so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize