the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize