would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
