Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
