That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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