let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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