We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
