Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
