I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm passing your future prison.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
