You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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