he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
