Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
