I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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