hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
