Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
