So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
