he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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