Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think people are normalizing furries
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize