"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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