Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
