apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
