how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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