I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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