i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
