Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
