yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
