I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize