I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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