Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
