I just cut my nipple shaving
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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