i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
