And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
MIDGETS
????
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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