YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
