k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
