I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The uberlube is also flammable
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
