17 year olds will be the death of me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
