Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
