she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
