dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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