the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
