You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
