life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize