So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize