did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
