Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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