I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
