You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize