Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
