What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
