My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize