he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
pop tarts are not kleenex
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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