my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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