this beer tastes like vomit already
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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