another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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