I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
