Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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