...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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