just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
