I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
