I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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